MANAGING STRESS AND WORK/FAMILY BALANCE
Thursday, April 20, 2006

In each case the title of the book is given first, followed by the title of the talk, a description, and specific topics covered.

When The Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (U.S. subtitle: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection)

Title of talk: When The Body Says No: The Mind/Body Unity and the Stress-Disease Connection

These days stress is ubiquitous—in the work place, in the home, almost everywhere that people interact.  It takes a heavy toll, unless recognized and managed effectively and with insight.

Western medical practice separates the mind from the body, a disconnect contrary both to ancient human wisdom and to the latest findings of modern research. Science has now clearly shown that mind and body can be separated only in textbooks, but not in real life. The brain and body systems and organs that process emotions are intimately connected with the immune centres, the hormonal apparatus and the nervous system. Thus emotional stress, especially of the hidden kind that people are not aware of, can undermine immunity, disrupt the body's physiological milieu and prepare the ground for disease.  In almost all chronic conditions, from cancer to ALS to multiple sclerosis to the autoimmune conditions like rheumatoid arthritis, inflammatory bowel disease or Alzheimer's disease, hidden stress is a major factor.

Dr. Mate’s presentation includes research findings, compelling and poignant anecdotes from his own extensive experience in family practice and palliative care, and also illuminating biographies of famous people such as the athlete Lance Armstrong, comedian Gilda Radner, or baseball legend Lou Gehrig. 

Topics covered: 

1. The mind/body unity as explained by modern science.
2. The nature of stress and its physiological consequences.
3. What the major stressors are on human beings: loss of control; uncertainty; and conflict
4. How the early environment “program” us physiologically and psychologically into chronically stressful patterns of feeling and behavior
5. Why stress remains hidden in our culture.
6. How to recognize stress and how to prevent it.
7. The seven A's of healing

Hold On To Your Kids:  Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Title of talk:  Peer Orientation: Why Children Are Stressed, Why Parents Are Disempowered  and How To Restore a Healthy Balance in Adult-Child Relationships

Parenting is much more stressful and difficult these days because our children no longer look to adults for emotional support, the teaching of values, or the modeling of behavior. Peer orientation refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong,   identity and codes of conduct.  Peer orientation undermines family cohesion, sabotages healthy development and fosters an aggressive and prematurely sexualized youth culture.  For parents already challenged by the demands of our multitasking world and by sheer economic necessity,  peer orientation greatly complicates the child rearing task.

Children were never meant to be in a position where they are so dominant in influencing one another. This state of affairs may be the norm today, but it’s neither natural nor healthy. It is historically a new development, due to economic and social influences prevalent since World War II that have undermined adult-child connections.

This talk aims at helping to restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the adult-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice articulated will empower parents, teachers and the other adults who play a nurturing role to be for children what nature intended: the true source of contact, security and warmth. Parents must regain their natural authority, without coercion, punishment and artificial consequences. Children need to be protected from becoming lost in the emotionally barren and culturally sterile world of peer orientation.

Topics covered:

1. The basis of healthy child development: the attachment relationship with parents, teachers and other adults.
2. Why the traditional relationship has become undermined, leaving parents frustrated and children alienated and immature.
3. What peer orientation is and how it competes with children’s adult attachments.  How to recognize its signs.
4. How peer orientation leads to boredom, aggression, bullying, precocious sexuality, drug use, developmental problems and “unteachability.”
5. How to restore the healthy adult orientation of our children, including methods of discipline that do not alienate children but bring them closer.